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I face the final days of school with the same roller-coaster ride of emotions the last few years, I live the close of this school year with my usual habit of spreading financial statements, with my instinctive effort to strip my conscience, discovering errors, steps false failures. From this emerges a passionate reading of myself a year lived up to the intensity, a year of sorrow, but of great work on my weaknesses and my emotions. The mineralogy of always thought that I undergo the "suspicion" that consecrate the interpretation del mio mondo, hanno regalato tesori. Una grande forza, un vivido entusiasmo per il mio lavoro, una coriacea fiducia nelle mie scelte passate, nelle mie partenze e nei miei abbandoni. Eppure ieri sera, mentre in macchina tornavo a casa, non riuscivo a cancellare un’ombra di amarezza e di insoddisfazione, un senso oscuro di incompletezza. Annaspo nel cercare una totale congruenza fra i miei propositi e le mie scelte, fra i miei desideri e le mie azioni, fra il copione che avevo steso per la mia recita e la messa in scena finale. Non riesco a vedere il tutto in cui vorrei immergermi, non riesco a dipingere il mio ritratto con tutti i colori che vorrei. Sento che mi sfuggono alcune sfumature e percepisco che la vittima delle riflessioni di stasera è il full and satisfying sense of integrity. Arrived home a few minutes to rethink the next class and also register here for failure in search of a perfect completion of a homogeneous whole. All sheets in front of me, scattered on the kitchen table: I choose to explain what tomorrow, how to concentrate in one hour the thousand details that I would tell my students, everything seems important to me, every line seem worthy of mention, every complaint appears to me an outrage. I understand that there is a subtle correspondence between now and the one just past, that my work is a metaphor for my life, that there is a profound harmony between the woman and Barbara Barbara teacher. I would like not always escaped me anything, I would always do not omit even one sentence, I would always do not delete even a comma. Always wanting a whole, full uniform, I live each and every subtraction lack a sense of loss and discomfort. With these thoughts that crowd my mind an hour also takes in his hands an essay by Sigmund Freud for the last philosophy class and read between the thick lines: "the only safe interpretation is therefore incomplete." There is a book that contains a phrase written for me, there is no book that has even the slightest reference to my anxieties and my questions. I have to give up, I have to give in to the partiality and incompleteness. And yet the books, I resume a sentence of Calvin was talking about a few nights ago, when these thoughts were echoed by those of others

"So also in the city Everything is permitted only through a choice and a refusal accepting the one hand and giving the rest? "Italo Calvino, The Castle of Crossed Destinies

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Koyaanisqatsi - Life out of Balance



Waiting to board a train to Pisa, I treat myself to an afternoon 'sign in my past and my adolescence. I sink into the sofa with my inseparable friend migraine and immerse myself in the pictures of the wonderful "Koyaanisqatsi" di Godfrey Reggio, accompagnata dalla colonna sonora, davvero inimitabile, di Philp Glass. Quando apparve in Italia, nel 1983, io avevo appena nove anni, ma più tardi, negli anni del liceo, questo film-documenatario dovette inaugurare il mio immenso amore per il cinema, amore che ancora scaldo e conservo, nonostante questa piccola città di provincia mi condanni a non frequentare assiduamente le sale cinematografiche. Devo a Lapo questa scoperta e, ancora oggi, dopo quasi vent'anni, ancora lo ringrazio. E' meraviglioso "Koyaanisqatsi", davvero un piccolo capolavoro. Forse dovrei utilizzarlo a scuola, magari spiegando Bacone e il suo progetto di renderci padroni della natura, oppure spiegando Hans Jonas e la sua etica della responsabilità. What a beautiful afternoon, if you have not seen, run for cover. I, meanwhile, I'm going to vote.

"... Bacon was able to capture exactly the animus of science later. The happy marriage, which he thinks, between the human intellect and the nature of things, is patriarchal: the intellect that wins the superstition must command the disenchanted nature. The knowledge which is power, knows no limits, nor nell'asservimento of the creatures, nor in his docile acquiescence to the lords of the world ... what men want to learn from nature, is how to use it for domain full of nature and man. There is nothing more than taking "
Max Horkheimer, Theodor W. Adorno, Dialectic of Enlightenment

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Consacrazioni

form words for years, I allow myself to enjoyable diving in my writing, I let my emotions settle and observe the residue of my intricate terms remained in the background, forget compose music with my voice, thinking, as they are, that everything alive only through and in language. I take in my hands the Heideggerian "Unterwegs zur Sprache" ("On the Way to Language") and try to make my way into its intricate paths, as well as "broken." Seek relief in the profound significance of this work, without a doubt one of the most inspired, not only of Heidegger himself, but of all the philosophical literature contemporary. "Nothing is (is) where the word is missing," reads a line of poetry quoted by Heidegger and I immersed in this paper, I think of how violent the silence, as they are unnatural and choked the words not spoken, how arrogant lock lips in an arbitrary silence. So in my escape from the ghosts seek refuge in my writing, trying to translate the unspeakable, to expose the lies spoken in the first place to myself, to force me to give light to my silence, to condemn me to shed some light on my abyss, convinced (Heidegger) that Being manifests itself only in and through language and its agreements. I'd like you all are consecrated to this religion of the word. Do not make mistakes, do not be dazzled by a fatal error of perspective: the hero to sing about the deeds, this time, she wrote what she wrote, not who runs away without even a word of farewell.

"Love speaks much, is a speech. It is hereby declared, and often culminates in this statement ends: highly ambiguous speech act, almost indecent "(J. Baudrillard, Fatal Strategies ).